How Do Communities Outside of Work Help You Find Balance and Succeed at Work?

Communities outside of work help leaders find balance by providing emotional support, perspective, and a sense of identity beyond their job. These connections reduce burnout, improve resilience, and ultimately make us more effective at work. When leaders invest in family, social groups, and local communities, they return to their professional roles more grounded, energized, and focused. Let’s dive into this a bit more. 

 

Some people think they are in community, but they are only in proximity. True community requires commitment and openness. It is a willingness to extend yourself to encounter and know the other.

—David Spangler

 

In this blog, I write a lot about work-related communities: direct reports, bosses, colleagues, mentors, clients, etc. No matter how much fulfillment you might find in your work, though, it’s important to remember that your job should not be the only thing that defines you.

We all need to have balance between our professional lives and our personal lives.  I truly love my work and am so grateful to be able to do what I do. But sometimes I have gotten so caught up in the go-go-GO! of work that the non-work parts of my life haven’t received the attention they deserved.

 

Coming dangerously close to burnout was the wake-up call I needed to reevaluate my priorities, and since then I’ve been much more successful at achieving work–life balance—which in turn has enabled me to thrive even more in my career!

We all need to remind ourselves from time to time how important it is to participate in communities outside of the office in addition to those in our workplaces. I don’t mean just sharing space with other people but actually connecting with them—building and reinforcing social relationships based on shared experiences. These relationships let us expand our horizons, give us opportunities to share our joys, and bolster us when we need support.

What I didn’t fully appreciate early in my career is how directly this impacts leadership performance. When I invest in relationships and communities outside of work, I show up at work with more patience, perspective, and emotional bandwidth. I make better decisions, communicate more clearly, and don’t overreact to the small stuff — because my identity isn’t tied solely to my job.

Too often, though, we forget to nurture these parts of our lives. Sometimes a big change (such as a new job, a change in a friendship or romantic relationship, the loss of a loved one, or move to a new city) is just the kick in the pants we need to work on building and strengthening our communities outside of the office.

 

How Non-Work Communities Expand Perspective and Opportunity

 

There is immense power when a group of people with similar interests gets together to work toward the same goals.

—Idowu Koyenikan

 

 

In my case, moving from NYC to New Orleans 10+ years ago is what did this for me. When I decided to fulfill my longtime dream of relocating to NOLA (a really big change that was both thrilling and a bit nerve-wracking all at once), I knew that if I was going to make it in my new hometown, I needed to have a community.

As soon as I arrived—and even before I had unpacked all of my boxes!—I immediately joined several local organizations and got to work building a community that not only supports me but also gives me opportunities to support others.

Over the years these organizations have included professional societies (for example, I’m a mentor for the Loyola Women’s Leadership Academy, which I’ve supported since its inception—they’re now on their 9th cohort!), community groups (I’m currently the treasurer for Celebrate Canal, a citizen-led nonprofit working to revitalize Canal Street), and arts groups (I’m on the boards of directors for the New Orleans Film Society and the New Orleans Opera Association Women’s Guild).

 

 

And since this is NOLA, of course I have fully embraced Mardi Gras and joined several krewes! 

Being involved in these communities didn’t just expand my social circle — it sharpened how I think. Listening to people with different backgrounds, priorities, and perspectives made me a more strategic leader.

I became better at seeing patterns, anticipating consequences, and understanding how decisions land on different stakeholders — skills that directly show up in my work every day.

 

 

Why Relationships Require Intentional Effort to Thrive

 

Every successful individual knows that his or her achievement depends on a community of persons working together.

—Paul Ryan

 

One constant through all my moves and career changes over the years has been my family.

I’m so lucky to have great relationships with them. (And I’m especially grateful that even though my nieces are now teenagers, they still think their Aunt Val is cool enough to hang out with!)

But close relationships with family (whether it’s a family by birth or a found family) never happen “naturally”: we still have to put effort into them. I do my best never to take those relationships for granted.

 

These relationships have also strengthened my emotional intelligence as a leader.

They’ve taught me how to listen without fixing, how to stay present in hard conversations, and how to show empathy without losing accountability.

Those same skills are essential when leading teams, navigating conflict, and building trust at work.

 

How Community Strengthens Identity and Resilience

 

The need for connection and community is primal, as fundamental as the need for air, water, and food.

—Dean Ornish

 

Through all of the various communities I’m connected to, I’ve learned a lot, expanded my perspectives, had a blast, and found my ride-or-die folks I can count on in times thick and thin. 

What I’ve learned over time is this: community isn’t a distraction from high performance — it’s what sustains it. Leaders who build a full life outside of work have more capacity to lead inside of it. They bring steadier energy, clearer judgment, and a longer-term view — all of which matter when the pressure is on.

 

 

Don’t get me wrong: doing great work and having professional goals are both very important! But carving out space in your life for non-work connections and activities is also important.

Putting time into the people and activities that bring you joy and let you be your best self not only improves your personal life but is key to giving you the downtime, support, and balance you need in order to succeed professionally, too! 

Balance didn’t make me less ambitious — it made me more effective.

 

What non-work communities help you stay grounded, energized, and effective? I’d love to hear what fills your cup outside the office.