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High achievers thrive on momentum—but constant pressure can take its toll. When you’re wired to perform, slowing down feels impossible, yet burnout is a real risk. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by stress, you’re not alone—and the good news is, you can take back control. This post will show you how to identify what’s fueling your stress and build a “playbook” to manage it without losing your edge.
We live in times of high stress.
—Simon Sinek
When the to-do list keeps growing, the emails won’t stop, and everyone wants something yesterday, it’s easy to feel like you’re running on fumes. High achievers often push through, convincing themselves that exhaustion is just part of success. But here’s the truth: stress is inevitable—burnout isn’t.
By tackling your stressors head-on, you can create grounding habits that enable you to reenergize yourself—and reclaim your sanity!—without having to shell out the time and money for a weekend at a wellness retreat.
How to Identify Your Stress Triggers
The reason humans experience so much more stress than other species isn’t just because we think more, but also because we think differently.
—Andrew J. Bernstein
Stress affects everyone differently. What triggers you might not even register for someone else. To manage it effectively, start by identifying your most frequent stressors—the ones that show up in your daily routines or interactions. Focus on reducing those patterns first. When your foundation feels calmer, the occasional one-off stressor becomes much easier to handle.
How do we figure out what stresses us out?
Do some self-reflection. Start by answering statements such as “I feel stressed out when . . .” and “I really dislike it when people . . .” Sometimes it’s easier to see the stressors when you’re imagining specific scenarios than when you’re trying to compile a list out of the blue.
Keep a stress journal. Although this may feel a little hippy-dippy for some,it’s a great way to figure out patterns. Whenever you find yourself feeling anxious, unhappy, overwhelmed, or any other negative emotion, log it in a journal. Include as many details as possible: how you felt, what you were doing, the time and date, and any other information that might seem relevant. Contextual clues can be especially useful at highlighting connections you usually would overlook. (For example, if every break room conversation with a particular person ends with you feeling like you want to stab your eyes out, odds are good that interacting with them is a stress trigger for you!)
Ask trusted friends and family. Sometimes it’s hard to get a good clear look at ourselves. That’s when it can be helpful to ask people you trust for their observations. (“Have you noticed if anything in particular seems to stress me out?”)
How to Build Your Personalized Playbook for Managing Stress
The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.
—William James
Now that you have a good sense of what situations, tasks, people, places, and other factors stress you out, you can do something about them. You don’t have to resign yourself to stress-induced migraines, stomach-churning anxiety, and sweaty-palmed anxiety. You might be surprised to discover how often you can take action to change your circumstances. And if you can’t change the circumstances? Then change your attitude and reactions as having a positive mental state will help your overall well-being.
As you look over your list of stressors, sort each of them into one of two buckets. Into the first bucket go the things that you can control. This includes how you do your work assignments, how you take care of your health through diet and exercise, how much time you spend on social media, how you prioritize your social time, etc.
The second bucket is for—you guessed it!—the things you cannot control. This bucket is for factors such as difficult colleagues, global politics, the price of eggs these days, road construction on your commute, and whatever cruel person has decided that skinny jeans should be making a comeback this winter. And of course bosses who are raging jerks go in this bucket too!
Grab a piece of paper (or open a new document on your computer) and sort your challenges, annoyances, and issues into these two buckets. Don’t deliberate too much right now—your goal is just to fill those two categories with everything that comes to mind. When you’ve completed your first draft, then you can take some time to consider each item and make sure it’s in the right place (or perhaps reconsider its impact on you and take it off the list completely).
For each item in bucket #1 (the things you can control), figure out what you are going to do about to address that stressor. For example:
- Feeling anxious because you didn’t hit your deadline? Make a plan to improve your time-management skills.
- Giving presentations to your peers got you down? Find a course or mentor who can help you improve your public speaking skills.
- Worried that you aren’t connecting well with your employees? Take steps to increase your emotional intelligence and become a better communicator.
- Feeling exhausted when you roll into the office on Monday? Maybe rethink how to spend your weekends—and make a point to increase the time you spend on activities that boost you mentally and physically.
Now look over what’s in bucket #2: the things you cannot control. Instead of banging your head against the wall in helpless frustration, make the conscious decision to accept what you cannot control. As long as you’re stuck in that situation (toxic workplace, overbearing boss, annoying neighbors, etc.), you need to find a way to make your peace with it so you can move on (or at least not let it bring you down).
Acceptance doesn’t mean throwing in the towel and getting on board with something that is actually a big negative for you. Rather, it means recognizing that there are some things you just can’t change. What you can do, though, is actively choose not to let them get you down. Acknowledge your feelings—and then move your time, energy, and attention to what you can influence.
| I had lunch this week with a friend who’s been struggling after being passed over for a promotion. Not only did he lose out on the top spot—his company hired someone from the outside with less experience. Three months later, the disappointment still lingers. It’s understandable; rejection stings, especially when it feels unfair. But at some point, holding onto that frustration does more harm than good. It’s started to spill into his personal life and overshadow everything else that’s going right.
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How to Recharge Your Soul in 15 Minutes
Stress is an important dragon to slay —or at least tame—in your life.
—Marilu Henner
Bucket #3 is the final step in your stress management playbook. It’s simple but essential: recharge your batteries regularly. Managing stress isn’t about waiting until you’ve hit a wall or finished a major project—it’s about preventing that wall from ever forming.
That’s why I recommend building in short “micro-stress breaks” every day—or at least every other day. I’m talking 15 minutes, not an hour. These small daily pauses keep stress from building to unmanageable levels and help you stay calm, centered, and ready for what’s next.
The goal isn’t to earn your rest after a marathon week; it’s to recharge often enough that the marathon never feels impossible in the first place.
Here are my top 10 EASY ways to microcharge your energy level in just 15 minutes or less:
- Breathe. Try box breathing, which is the stress-reducing technique employed by Navy Seals (who know a little something about dealing with stress!): breathe in during a four-count, hold your breath for a four-count, exhale for a four-count, then keep your lungs empty for a four-count. On the 2nd round, consciously drop your shoulders as low as you can go.
- Get a move on! Stretch, dance, or power march for two minutes.
- Look at your photos of past vacations. Reminding yourself of joy-filled moments can help you see beyond the stress in front of you.
- Text a friend. Pay them a compliment, tell them a joke, make a plan to chat or meet soon—do something to focus your attention on someone you care about (and who cares about you!).
- Find the funny. Watch a short clip that makes you laugh out loud. (Not sure where to find one? The website for America’s Funniest Videos has got you covered with plenty of safe-for-the-workplace content.)
- Practice gratitude. Write down one thing you’re grateful for right now.
- Grab a snack. Refuel with something that makes you happy. (For this little treat, I give you permission not to count carbs or calories!)
- Check in with nature. Step outside for a few minutes to feel the sun on your face, look at the sky, or smell some flowers.
- Enjoy a pat on the back. Save a “kudos file” of praise emails you’ve received and pull one out when you need a pick-me-up.
- Glitter something! I find great joy and relaxation in glueing tremendous amounts of glitter to objects (shoes, hats, toilet plungers—you name it!) that get tossed from my krewes’ floats during Mardi Gras. Personally, I think a little sparkle makes everything better, but if glitter isn’t your thing, find your own creative crafting outlet.
All of these techniques are in my personal “stressbusting toolkit,” which does wonders for helping me step out of a stressful moment and recenter myself. Use this list as a starting point to create your own methods for alleviating your stress—and microcharging your soul.
Final Thoughts
Its not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.
—Hans Selye
Even though we all have stress in our lives, there’s no universal solution for dealing with it. By taking a careful (and honest) look at your situation, you can put together your own customized playbook for handling stress. When you learn how to control what you can and let go of what you can’t—and recharge your batteries frequently—you’ll have a much healthier relationship with stress, be better equipped to lead, and have more success in reaching your goals.